Nina's Threads · Story Time Sampler · The Frosted Pumpkin Stitchery · The Grey Tail

needlework surgery [big booty mix]

the Needlework Horror Story saga continues with a health report on the infamous slug attack on my Story Time Sampler linen cut. not for the weak of heart.

– – –

I figured you all wanted to see how this horrible slug scar looked like, so I dug my smarty pants from the depths of my closet and put them on. here it is.

slug attack

before I tried to take it out the first time it looked like the one above, only bigger, and to be honest I could have easily stitched on it and saved myself A WHOLE LOT OF TROUBLE – but of course I had to be me and end up turning it into an even fatter, white, fluffy monster.

since so many of you suggested to actually take it out and weave another linen thread in its place I decided to keep those smarty pants on and give it a try.

  • first I stitched the 11th frame and, of course, had confirmation of what counting already informed me of: the slug wouldn’t get fully covered by the bottom of the frame.

slug attack

see those three vertical stitches on the bottom left? the frame extends for 7 more stitches downwards, the rest is fully exposed fabric that would clearly look wrong, madly wrong.

  • so what I did is I carefully made two vertical incisions: I cut the linen thread right on top and at the bottom of the slug and pulled out the fluffy, white whale it had become. check this out. 😱😱😱😱😱😱

– WARNING! NOT FOR THE WEAK OF HEART –

slug surgery

I haven’t stretched out anything there, that’s just the fat ass hole that slug left when I pulled it out. if this is not a needlework horror story I don’t know what is. LOOK AT THAT FOR GOD’S SAKE!! it was the Kim Kardashian of linen threads! no, that’s not enough ass, this is 40ct. linen we’re talking about, those threads are tight skinny bitches! it’s more like the Niki Minaj & Iggy Azalea & Jennifer Lopez & Kim Kardashian all put together in a über fat-ass linen thread, that’s what it was!

look! it even broke in two pieces when I pulled it out, that’s how über fat that slug was, GOSH! and look how squashed the surrounding threads had been! they’re all packed together like sardines in a tin can, and all because of that Minaj-Azalea-Lopez-Kardashian über fat-ass thread! GOOD GOD!

at this point I realised that taking it out was the best move I could have ever made, and I really have to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for giving me this pretty wild (wild for me, that is) but definitely worth trying idea. I had never encountered anything like this, I had never cut a fabric thread that wasn’t an Hardanger cut, and even at that I don’t have that much experience, so I was chicken scared of what was going to happen next but I had my smarty pants on so I took a deep breath and I went for it.

  • surprisingly pulling out a fabric thread from the sides was not as easy as I thought it would be, the sides were all zigzagged and as soon as I found a thread I could somewhat easily pull out it fluffed terribly, or broke, or both. eventually I managed to take one out that was long enough to replace the über fat hole and started weaving it back into place. this is how it looked like after the surgical attempt. I felt like Dr. Frankenstein I must say.

slug surgery

all in all not too bad, the colour kind of matches, the surrounding fabric threads have more room to breath now but I was anxious to see if the bottom of the frame would keep it all together without looking like its ass had been kicked. 😛

slug surgery

now there were two things going on: the portion of the linen right on top of that straight row at the bottom is where the 11th instalment of this project goes, and that won’t come out until October 31st so that wasn’t going to look good for a long while, I knew that.

the other issue was that those stitches looked, for lack of a better word, drunk. they were all over the place, distorted, some stretched out, some squeezed, .. all in all not a pleasing sight for the eyes. but the good news was that the replacement thread had worked, it was actually possible to stitch over it, the real problems came from those surrounding threads, which had been pressed together so tightly for such a long time, they were having a hard time relaxing and staying where they were actually supposed to be.

  • so what I did at this point (and mind this was only about an hour ago) was frogging those tipsy stitches, slightly and gently dabbing the area with cold water so that the fabric threads would chill and move more easily and then I took some solid, colourfast (wasn’t going to take any chances here!) white Anchor thread and started stitching a sort of cross stitch Band-Aid on the linen wound. 😀

as I was forming the stitches I could see the fabric threads move back in the right place, and it was actually easier to manoeuvre the crosses rather than the fabric threads they were made on, so I went on until I reached the section of the fabric that won’t get covered by any stitching, and here’s what it looks like now.

slug surgery

it’s a pretty nice cross stitch Band-Aid isn’t it?! 😛 I’m extremely happy with the way the linen looks right beneath it, it wasn’t nearly as neat before surgery, so I have big hopes for when I’ll take that Band-Aid off. on the backside you can’t even tell anything happened honestly, I just hope the lacy border will look alright on the operated area.. I wonder how long the prognosis suggests to leave that on.

one thing is sure, this baby will be a TRUE NIGHTMARE to frame, no doubt about that! 😬 😬😬😬😬

– – –

I’ll leave you with a playlist of big buns tracks for you to rock your stitches on, I had them all on brain-play at some point while operating. 😛

happy stitching! – chiara

BIG BOOTY MIX

1. Sir-Mix-A-Lot – Baby Got Back [feat. Brian Williams]

2. Niki Minaj – Anaconda [feat. Ellen DeGeneres]

3. Meghan Trainor – All About That Bass

4. Jennifer Lopez – Booty [feat. Iggy Azalea]

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25 thoughts on “needlework surgery [big booty mix]

  1. All that repairing is way beyond my capability. I would have given up in disgust by now. Kudos to you for tackling this and doing such an awesome job!

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    1. oh but I simply had to! the rest of the piece is coming along so well there’s no way I’m starting it all over! I just hope the fabric looks more regular once I frog that band-aid off 😬

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  2. Slugs…..oh I have had to eal with them at times. I would gently cut them out and reweave the area. Seems like you did a fine job of it.

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  3. I have really no idea how to weave a thread into the fabric, I have been thrilled throughout the whole post until I’ve reached the end. I think that “Minaj-Azalea-Lopez-Kardashian über fat ass” made my day and I thank you for that 😜
    The band-aid is a great idea and I suggest you to apply for a patent 👍
    Doc Chiara, you’re a genious! Good job! 🌸

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    1. oh it’s super easy really, you just thread it into your needle and go over and under the horizontal threads and basically fill the gap; on the back you get the exceeding lengths that you can catch up with the back of your stitches or secure afterwards. way easier than I thought I’d be.
      I was laughing so hard at the thought of that Kardashian thread that I had to write it down immediately. I mean, it was hilarious! a terrible experience, really, but hilarious at the same time! 😛
      thanks for all the nice words, they made my day! 💖

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    1. thanks! it wasn’t too time consuming really, we’ll see how good of a job that was when I finish the other frames.. I don’t think I can leave that band-aid on ’till the end of October, I wanna see how it looks like! 😀

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  4. LOL… I love your ranting! I think you did a fantastic job repairing the damage. I think just a week or two will fix the problem and you can take the band-aid off. Yay! So glad this worked 😀

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  5. I’m so pleased that we all empowered you to attempt this tricky cosmetic surgery! A butt-oscopy is always difficult but with one of Kardashian proportions the surgeon must be both patient and skilled.
    I am sure the ingenious use of band aid will help the recovery.
    Just be prepared to get viewing figures from unusual sources now you have mentioned certain key words!

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  6. Wow, great repair job! I am so pleased to see how you handled them – I am so going to have to try this next time I get one…. If I can get some courage up to do the cutting bit!!
    Hugs xx

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    1. thank you! ❤️ I would definitely try it on a leftover first so that you don’t panic like I almost did, but it worked really well this far. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed for when I take that band aid off 😬🍀🍀🍀🍀

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  7. What an episode! with dr Chiara as guess star in white blouse (more comfy than the straitjacket she could finish with). I just get an appointment next wednesday for my broken foot, maybe I could change for your good care. Hugs

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